Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Fearing the Futon


'Nothing Incredibly Fascinating but Everything Fascinating and Weird!

What is it Like? I don't Remember...

One Day I woke up and I had pain like knives stabbing me all over my Body. So I stood Up. For 8 Days.

I did a lot of things. I clicked download, I took care of the kitties, I paced my bedroom floor, which seemed like a surreal forever, definitely not one of those, 'Been There, Done That' Experiences.

Then, I think it was Yesterday, I told my Mother that something is Wrong with Dad. He is in RI Hospital Intensive Care because I asked him before he left, and he told me, "I've been sick for months."

A couple of Nights Ago, we both knocked over our Nightstands in Our "Sleep." He was lying down, I was standing up.

Then I called my doctor, I was Home Alone. Then I got a name of a holistic chiropractor nearby in the historic seaside town...I had Never Been to a chiropractor before so why did I think I needed to see one? My WEIRD Indian MD has been masking my lowest common denominator for YEARS, TAKE A PILL.

I went to see the holistic chiropractor (how did I even drive?). He put me on this machine and pulled out my skeleton, I think I might even be an Inch Taller now.
Wow. I mean, REALLY!!

I feel like it was All A Dream. I came Home, did some Yoga, ATE SOMETHING but when it came Time to Sleep, I Feared My Bed.

I went to Sleep anyway, Tweeter was no Longer Confused and we laid down on my futon. I woke up Today, and I am OK. But pretty soon, I have to do it again. I am wondering, will I Wake Up the same? Without any Pain? I know my Bed has to Change, but it hasn't Changed yet.

So, if anyone knows what I've said the past couple of days, or can tell me what I did, that would be Great! I am finding Pictures and Videos in my Copy to External Hard Drive folder, amongst other things, and I don't know how I got them, or even where they came from.

I even met with a Lawyer Lady about the Smyth-thing and the Secret Society of the Diocese...How Did I Do That? I just read an email from her and she is telling me that I need a Home Grown Witness Protection Program.

I think she's Right!

"Change Brings Wisdom."

Wednesday, March 7, 2007



Time is but a Shadow, a Dream....
I Understand why we must Suffer.

Every day since the beginning of 2007, I Light a Candle of HOPE. I Know that there is Always a Way Out of the Darkness...

Illing-ness gives me a sense of Appreciation. Especially in those times when a friend will call on me with a Complaint List of Problems.

I will always Listen, I will always give a Friend this Opportunity.

In this way I lose Nothing, and I'm always repaid for the trouble I go to for Other People.
It is time to shift your
Miracles Abound, if you will Open Your Eyes to See Them.

In My Heart, I hold

I received a (return) phone call from Bill, Colly's husband, this afternoon. He informed me that her mother was killed in a head-on collision, driving alone, on the afternoon of Thursday, February 8th. Tomorrow is March 8th. This event occurred one day to one month ago.

Colly suffered courageously for 6 years and passed away, due to complications from breast cancer, on the Chinese New Year of the Fire Dog, January 28th, 2006, eve of my 50th birthday. Her mother was instantly 'gone,' never given but that last second of thought. 7 days to the year that Colly 'left.'

The untimely-ness of Nancy has left me, without a doubt, a curious feeling I'm pondering right now. This is so unexpected, yet, somehow, I feel there's a subtle connection to this Happening.

Imagine, leaving everything 'unfinished' or 'incomplete,' without Warning, without any Indication...Are we always prepared? "We Know not the Day nor the Hour."

Even in Suffering, there's always a FIGHT to LIVE.

It isn't until you are faced with a Reality of Transformation, a very Knowing-sense that Termination of your human body is inEvitable, that perhaps almost Suddenly, those Suicidal Tendencies aren't Sacred Conclusions to a Tortured Soul.
(get over it!)

Living In Solituda.

I cannot Complain. I can Self-Entertain.


(thank you, Franita, for sending me my 'Self Portrait' and for saving my Grandmother's Goddess Lamp. You are Love-Secured!)

Namaste, My Friends.

Friday, March 2, 2007

Dare to be a Darling


It's been some time since I've posted here, I almost feel like a stranger and foreign to my Own Self!

My Inserted Statement simply spells out the way I feel, moreso, I am a Freak Magnet, sometimes in the most marvelous sense!

This is The Last Day of my Solituda, I mean, COMPLETE Solitude in this house. It's not MY house, but I am HERE. It was NICE to HAVE IT ALL TO MYSELF!

I chose to do with my TIME as I did, until this LAST DAY, I feel more calm and hope that IT will carry me through the DAYS ahead of me now.

I did not have a typically peaceful time ALONE, it was more stressful than NOT. When I am in my inhabitating surroundings with Clarity cutting the Membrane of Premonition, I see ALL too Clearly the Reality at Hand. I cannot control it, but I have ways of DIVERTING it, and I use my personal Power to do that. For example, should anyone ask an idiot non-sensical question (in the form of a DEMAND), I simply SMILE and say, "Why do you want to know?"

When the phone rings, I SMILE before I answer it. People on the 'other end' can sense that, and therefore, should the call be intended (at their end) to accuse or de-mean me, they cannot help but be afflicted with that ever so contagious SMILE when you answer (the phone). It only makes them more aware of how stupid they are!

It is so true, Do GOOD, and the World will Still Bite you, Do GOOD anyway. Afterall, it only makes ME FEEL GOOD!!

"What lies before us and what lies beyond are tiny compared to what lies within Us."

Namaste to Everyone, Keep in the Forefront of your Senses the Meaning of Defenses!